Hey, it's Lily.

I've gotten so many advice-related questions lately, I figured it was time to make a blog solely for that purpose.
I have no idea if people will actually use it, and if not, that is toootally fine. I just wanted a place to give advice other than my personal blog. <3

I love you all. xo.

 

californiandreams asked
just to say, you're blog is amazing and the fact you give up your time just to give people advice is amazing! keeep it up gorgeous xo

<3333333333 thank you so much for this. you’re wonderful <3

Anonymous asked
Hey so I have a question

I'm a university student who has been in a lab with this girl all semester (who I have wanted to ask out) yet I didn't because if she said no, I didn't want to make the lab class awkward. Anyway, our lab final is coming up (tomorrow actually) and I think I can finally ask her since the semester is ending. I want to do it after the final, but that might not work out so perfectly due to the fact that we probably won't finish the test at the same time... so in any event, would it be too low to ask on facebook (but giving her reasons as to why I'm asking on facebook)? THANKS! :) I appreciate your help.

it’s not too low to ask a girl out on facebook, especially if it’s the first time! .. don’t worry about it! ^_^

Anonymous asked
Alright, so. A while back, st patties i believe, at a club I met this guy and he went to my highschool (we graduated in 09) and we madeout. Blah, whatever. Then I saw him again about... 3 weeks later? no, a month later at a different club I saw him again, and we ended up making out and I went with him to our friends house ( we share mutual friends seeing as we graduated together) and we just hungout while we were wasted. and ever since I saw him at the other club (which was around.. almost a month ago) we've pretty much been getting wasted together every weekend. We text eachother to see what each of us is doing during the week to see whats going on during the weekend to make sure we see eachother i guess, but I want to hangout with him sober. I work days at an office, and he works nights as an electrician. BOO how do I get him to hangout sober?? On the weekends more likely haha. Also, do you think this could develop further into anything else?? ALSO soo sorry for the NOVEL I HAVE WRITTEN. probably doesn't even make sense. THANKS A BUNCH :)

awww I would just be like ‘YO.. we’re drunk every time we hang out.. let’s go grab a bit to eat or something before we start drinking!’ or something of the sort … that will be an easy way to start out you know … and then you can just go from there!! … anything can develop into something else!

Anonymous asked
Hello, jsyk you're amazing! I love your smile. Anyways, I'm trying to get as much advice on this as possible. I'd love to hear what you have to say. Well, I'm a 16 year old girl and I have a pretty great boyfriend. I'm not exactly in love with him but I know I can trust him. I felt comfortable instantly around him. He's overall a great guy. Which is why I feel horrible about this (No, I did not cheat. I'm trying to prevent that.) But a few years ago I met an amazing girl. She's 18 now. She says things like "Wow, you're gorgeous. Be 18." It bothers me a lot. I mean, she's great. My boyfriend makes me happy but whenever I see her, I'm like 10x happier..xD I don't know, I feel like I might be wasting my time but also if I truly felt for my boyfriend I know I wouldn't have these feelings for her. They're both amazing and I hate to say it but she would probably make me happier. Dx gahhh, please help. I don't know what to do!

16 is a tough age to begin with. you don’t know exactly who you are, you’re curious about everything, and you don’t really know what to do with your life.
it’s natural to question things like this, especially when you’re getting positive feedback from both your boyfriend, and this other girl.
i disagree with the statement “if i truly felt for my boyfriend i know i wouldn’t have these feelings for her” .. that’s not true.
everyone has temptations. movies and tv make us think that if we truly love someone, we won’t even THINK about other people, but that’s seriously not true. it also depends on how long you’ve been with your boyfriend.
i really don’t know what you should ‘do’ .. i hate that you’re in this situation, because I know that has to be hella confusing.

honestly, i know this might sound silly, but it ALWAYS helps me in soooo many different situations: make a pro/con list .. one for your boyfriend and one for the girl … be completely honest and write it all down… when you can literally see it in front of your face, you might totally know what to do.

i’m sorry i couldn’t help more, i just want to assure you that lots of people go through this. good luck with everything <3

Anonymous asked
I feel like my boyfriend ONLY talks about our realationship and us and stuff. We've been together for 8 months and I love him to pieces.. Sometimes I just think he's TOO lovey-dovey. I can't confront him about it if he's doing nothing wrong. The reason I want him to lay off a bit is because nothing means as much anymore, and it's like saying "i love you" isn't as beautiful as it once was. I feel like I want close distance to an extent, I just want to be around him, but just... BE. I want to feel him with me, but I don't need to be reminded every minute. Help??

Oh I know what you’re talking about … that gets annoying pretty fast :/

I really think the only way to fix this is to talk to him about it. I know that sucks, but I really have no idea how else you would correct this.
I would tell him that you really do love him and that you know he really loves you, but you shouldn’t have to talk about it 24/7.
He may just think he’s doing what you want, because many girls need constant reassurance, so it all could just be an honest mistake.
Just make sure he knows how you feel about him, and make sure he knows that you KNOW he loves you, and tell him that it’s just too much to constantly be talking about it. You guys should spend more time just getting to know each other and becoming best friends rather than always just being lovey dovey.
I totally know what you’re talking about, so you’re not crazy or anything haha! .. Good luck with everything babe <3 

Anonymous asked
this isn't really relationship related or anything but i still need some help c:
this year had been the hardest year of my life so far, family problems etc etc. for a moment, well kinda the entire school year i've been skipping classes and just not wanting to be around people and stuff. i'm much better now, but i've been skipping my music class all the time. i can honestly say i rarely practised at all this year. i'm good with all my other teachers and classes, but as of tomorrow, which i'll be skipping class again, that'll be like 3 weeks of skipping class in a row. i just don't really wanna confront that particular class, considering i havent practised, can't play, and i'm stressed out with all these other exams and stuff. my spring concert is next thursday, and i can't play that fucking three page piece at all lol. i kinda want to quit but i don't, because i do love it. i play the violin btw :p i just want to know what i could tell my teacher. sounds kind of dumb i know, but yeah he probably thinks i want to quit and stuff, but i truly don't, i just need a fresh start. which is what i'm trying to do for myself. or if you have no idea what to say to me, give me your best excuses? haha thank you :p (:

awwww baby. i’m so sorry it’s been the hardest year of your life, but i’m very happy to hear that you are doing much better now.

I think you ought to talk to your teacher before the spring concert.. just so he/she knows what’s going on. I’m proud of you for not just wanting to completely give up on music, but I agree, I think you need to just relax for a bit and then get a fresh new start. I recommend just being honest with your teacher .. tell him/her that life has been extremely hectic and that you just need a break. They should understand that. Life happens, and it often gets in the way of things. 
I truly think that if you’re honest with him/her, it will all be okay. Teachers are usually pretty understanding … I think you should just go ahead and talk about it so you don’t have to keep worrying :)

Good luck! 

Anonymous asked
Sooo lately i have been going through such a rough time...and im only a freshman and stuff...and i ABSOLUTELY hate my school. And no body understands. Its literally all fake people and immature people and two faced people. I HATE IT. and i just smoke everyday before school because thats the only thing that literally gets me through the day. And my best friend since third grade just moved to north carolina and its fucking killing me. We were tied at the guts best friends since 3rd grade <3333 and she moved :( we were basically each others only friend and now i feel like i have no one.... and i do drugs to release all my stress. i mean i have friends and stuff...like 3....but i still feel like its no one. it basically is but i mean whatever. AND to add on top of all of that...i think i may have an attraction toward other girls....it makes me EXTREMELY confused...:( it doesnt help with all my other stress...i dont know what to do about that...i dont know if i do or now. im sooooo confused. but its okay if you dont give me any advice or anything i just wanted to let it out. cause you seem SOO nice

awwwww i’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this :( that’s so much to handle all at once. i hate that you’re having to face it all. 
especially while feeling so alone :’( … I felt the same way in high school .. it was horrible for me. i wasn’t doing drugs at the time .. but i was drinking a lot.

i wish you had someone to talk to about your sexual confusion .. fortunately, tumblr seems to be a great place for that :) most people here are not only accepting of the LGBT community, but also supportive of it!

I hope you can just take everything a day at a time, and do what you can to make it through the day. I’m always here if you need anything. I wish I had more advice :/ <3 

Anonymous asked
hi i love your blog. i need help. i know this seems dramatic.. i've been hooking up with this guy since we were 13..we're 16 now and i finally went further and i gave him head a month ago. he used to like me so much and always wanted to hangout/ talk but now he's like a total asshole and doesn't answer me and doesn't want to hang out that often. we got in a fight after i gave him head and i haven't tried to talk to him since then... but he hasn't tried to talk to me either. i'm pretending that it doesn't bother me but it's so hard for me to let him go for some unknown reason. when i get really upset all i want to do is call and talk to him but i feel like i look desperate and dumb if i do that. i don't know what to do. i miss him.

i’m sorry, that’s really awful :( unfortunately, I’ve heard this story time and time again. 

i can only tell you what’s worked for me .. and that is DON’T HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE UNLESS YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP … i’m not saying that because of moral issues, I’m just saying that because of the success rate. like … 9x out of 10 if you hook up with a guy before you’re in a relationship .. things won’t last. there’s just something about it.

i’m not saying it’s not possible .. but there are definitely the rare times that it ends up being ‘happy ever after’ .. but that’s uncommon.
i would definitely talk to him, just for your sake.. because that really isn’t fair to you. however, guys have a tendency to get what they want sexually and then move on.

if a guy doesn’t like you enough to be exclusive before hooking up, then don’t waste your time on him in the first place. sorry baby </3 

Anonymous asked
My boyfriend and I have been through a lot of rough patches but most of them were due to ex gf of 3 yrs. We have been together for 2 and a half now and after being at peace for at least a year and half, his ex gf sister decided to crawl back in. He says he misses the sister and wants to just be friends with the sister. I m scared due to all the rough patches, and bc he never would tell me when he would go to their house, hed go behind my back :( . so now about a year and a half later she adds him and he told her sorry for have being such a shietty friend my gf(me) is not ready for us to be friends yet..blah blah. What should I do? tell him not to befriend her? or should I pretend Im not scared and take the risk?

Damn that’s a really tough situation ….. honestly, if I were in your shoes … I don’t even know what I would do. I probably wouldn’t be comfortable with it just because of past issues … now, I don’t know that that’s the ‘right’ thing though … I might feel the same way you do just due to insecurities as opposed to realities if that makes sense.
He could genuinely have completely innocent motives, but at the same time … that’s just kind of too close for comfort to me so I can obviously completely understand how you feel.

I would just talk to him and be like why is it so important for you to be friends? Why does he want to get involved with her/them again? 

I wish I could help you more, but I basically can only say that I completely understand and can relate to what you’re saying.